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I Got Out!

God, where do I begin? I’m in my apartment. You’ve blessed me with everything I’ve asked for. I said God, I just want simple living arrangements. I just need a couch, a dining room table and 2 chairs, a bed for me and a bed for my daughter and you’ve blessed me with it without too much debt. You have pretty much paid for everything.

Lord, seriously, since the end of January, you’ve secured me an apartment that has everything that we need, purchased us furniture so that I could create a home for us, and as of today, you’ve blessed me with a job. That’s right! Your girl got a job. It is only by your doing.

I kept applying for jobs and NOTHING. I started getting warmer, getting interviews, but still nothing. And you said, how can I bless you with a job and your house isn’t in order. Remember, we are doing things in order as of now. So I stopped applying to jobs and started focusing on moving. Even without a job, you’ve been blessing me with money from different places.

I got contacted by a job that seemed perfect but fell through. At this point, I had gotten past the discouragement and disappointment of not finding a position. I was just like you can’t halfway trust God. You said he would provide, let him!!!

The devil did everything in his power to stop me. My ex sent me a very nasty messages last night. So nasty that I praised God that I got out. I am so grateful that I really got to see this side of him – his true self. I may have a child with him but this is where it ends. This is where the bullying and the disrespect ends! PRAISE GOD that he never wanted to marry me. It made it so that I was able to walk away that much easier.

Even after being up all night, I tackled the day. Earlier that day I got contacted for another job. Had a phone interview the same day. They enjoyed me so much. She wanted a face-to-face interview the next day. The face-to-face interview went very well and I got hired on the spot. GLORY BE TO GOD. I told you that I would have faith in you. I would move out without an income and trust you to provide. Hmph! you can’t tell me about faith.

But let me be clear, this wasn’t easy. Worry set in. Doubt set in. The devil tries to feed you lies. Every second was a test of my faith. Every second I had to stop myself from questioning you. I had to stop myself from worrying. Wondering if we would get put out because I spent  my last to secure this apartment. What about next month’s bills?! I had to deny myself which meant denying the negative thoughts and deciding that I choose to follow you and live up to my expectations of you. I knew what it was like to try to make stuff happen for me. This time, I choose to let you make things happen for me.

Let me repeat that in 2-3 weeks, you have blessed me with an apartment, gave me money, got me furniture, and got me a job. Isn’t my God awesome?!?! All I can do is shake my head in amazement.

I was just telling my friend that what I was going through was like child birth. Here, I am, comfortable in a place where I can’t stay. I’m not sure what it is going to be like leaving this place but I know that I have to. I’m not sure what to expect on the other side. I have no idea about anything. I just know I have to go. The birth canal is the journey to the other side. It’s not an easy transition though, its bumpy, rough, uncomfortable, pressed on all sides, and scary. But it’s a part of the process. Trust the process. And then, here’s the other side. Finally, a breakthrough. I can stop worrying about the other side because I’m here now. I’m not alone. My parents are here. My heavenly father is here. He helped me the whole way. I had to go through the experience to get to this point and I made it. I GOT OUT.

I want to speak on the fact that I keep repeating that I got out. For those that know me, know that I believe in family. EVERYTHING ABOUT FAMILY. I also believe in making your family work. I want the 50+ years my grandparents had. I understand to get that, you have to go through a lot of ups and downs in relationships. I am not praising the breaking of families, single parenting, children growing up without a parent, etc. I’ve been that child and it left voids in me that God had to fill. However, I am praising getting out of a place that you had no business in to begin with. Places and relationships that don’t honor God. Places that don’t bring him glory. Places he told you not be and not to return to. I’m praising those that are able to leave places and relationships that the devil meant to destroy you in. He thought it was going to be the death of you. He meant to kill you. I’m praising your obedience to yielding unto God and what he has commanded you. A long time ago, I learned that if you stop hearing God, you need to go back to the place you last heard him speak. A lot of times, we get in these relationships that tear us from God and before we know it, we are lost and have lost touch with him. If you want to find him, go back to the place you last heard him. Yep, you know the place - the place he instructed us to do what we did not want to do. It may just be the place where he told you not to get involved with so and so….and to GET OUT of this mess.

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