Battlefield: the Transition Pt. 1

Dear God,

I just prayed that you reveal to me if this move is right for me. I asked that you make an end to anything that is not in your will. So far, I’ve planned to move out. I planned to move out without an income or job. I’ve been fantasizing a lot about the new place, my new life. Starting over. Having a fresh start. I’ve been faith-ing it. Trusting that no matter what it looks like, that you are able and if you did it for others than you will most certainly do it for me. Everything will fall into place. 

I even feel weird moving forward with this mindset because in my old life, I had to be in control, in my new life with you, I do not want control. I want you to be a part of every decision I make. Shoot, now I do not even want to make basic decisions without you. Lord, what will I eat today? What will I wear today? Nothing is too mundane for you.

Watch this. I’ve found what seemed to be the perfect living arrangements. I began exploring income options and have been applying for positions. So I heard back from the owner renting an affordable condo and scheduled a viewing. I’ve studied the place and how I would decorate it. I fixated on it. I know that’s not a good thing. Then, I heard back from a job. I’m thinking, OH MY GOD, look how awesome you are. Then it boiled down to the job being a scam, and the owner of the condo cancelling my viewing the day before my appointment because he had rented it. WHAT?! ARE YOU SERIOUS? All I could do was laugh. 

So now the question becomes, was that the warning shot before the real thing? Am I being hasty? Is it not your will? *Now, one of the ways God speaks to me is through words. I may have said that before.* So although what someone is saying in totality is not for me, my holy spirit will pick up on certain words. As a lesson, I’m learning to listen more even if I disagree with what is being said because God can speak through anything and anybody. 

Just like the Bible, in reading it, you shouldn’t be looking at it in black and white, you should be expecting the Holy Ppirit to reveal something to you specifically for you.  Sorry for the tangent, so my mom came over and wanted to check up on me and she said that she wanted to make sure I wasn’t being hasty. Hmmm. There’s that word haste again. Ok. God. Maybe I am. I look at everything like a sign but God I just need to know if I should still expect you to make this move or sit back?

A part of me feels like I should push forward and try you. Rely on you. But I want what you say is best for me more than I want what I want. Thank you for allowing these things to happen because either way my faith is going to be strengthened. You are either going to continue to protect me and provide for me in my home or you are going to protect and provide for me as I move on. Either way, I know you are able and I have faith in you. Lord, I rebuke the spirit of doubt and confusion in this time. God I want to remain focused on you. All of my days!!!!