Skip to main content

I Absolutely Love You God

First of all God I absolutely love spending time with you. Like for me there’s no place I’d rather be. I’m okay with no one understanding me on that  for better words I don’t have any desire to hang out with friends. I know they say I need a break, and I do, but my break is solitude and Bible and prayer time.

That’s my social time and if you have never felt that way, well, welp oh well, that’s how I feel and I really don’t want to hear anyone’s opinion about it. God I love you and all of your ways and I love spending my time with you. Like I need you. I need to choose you. Not like I need you because you could end my life at any moment but I need you as in my heart desires you.

A lot of times I want to shut down from the world because I want my time with you. That’s why it will be important for my husband to understand that. Maybe on Friday night, he could sit beside me while I’m journaling and journal too or listen to a sermon or read the Bible. My God, My God. I’ll be married and my thoughts will be acceptable HEHE.

The fact that I could be overjoyed about a man that loves God and being with him is crazy to me. God I’m ready for this. I’m ready to be myself. To be free with him. God I ask that the same way I want him to be attracted to the God in me, I want to be attracted to the God in him. I want to physically be attracted to the God in him.

God, what’s your thought of going into marriage counseling right into dating to determine compatibility? (Later discovered as pre-engagement counseling)

Also, I know I’ve been wondering about Godly dating and it just registered that we could do Christian conventions, relationship getaways/retreats – separate rooms?! Dating conferences, fairs, gardens, outdoor time. Hiking, biking, gym, cooking classes, etc. To my surprise, there’s plenty of things to do during the dating phase in a Godly relationship.

I did some research on pre-engagement counselors and counseling and read that it should be started 6 months into your relationship once you decided you want to the spend the rest of your life together.
Wow, I keep saying how anything can happen in 6 months and 6 months in we could be wanting to spend our lives together? WOW!

Yes, I want to lay a strong Godly foundation as soon as possible!

In lieu of counseling, I need to work on being honest to myself about what I can and cannot do so that I can be honest with him and them in counseling. Even now, I have a problem short selling myself, agreeing to something well beneath my worth or not even speaking up about it and resenting it later. That’s just the beginning of all of the things I need to work on but definitely being upfront and honest about what I can and cannot/won’t do will be important in pre-engagement counseling so that I am not tricking my future husband into believing one thing knowing that in my heart I want to do another.

Have you done pre-engagement counseling? If so, please share. If not, would you?


  1. Me and steven did a short one from the same pastor who married us, it was helpful to hear his advice..


Post a Comment

Have something to share? Please be kind and respectful, if not, your posts will be deleted!

Popular posts from this blog

Call Your Mom!

I spent years keeping my mom distant, never letting her get too close. I didn’t trust her. I couldn’t trust her. There was too much hurt and pain. I shut down on her years ago. I went through so much and I needed her. She wasn’t there the way I needed her. Fast forward to being pregnant with my daughter and I realized how much I wanted to have an awesome relationship with her. Compensating for what my mother and I didn’t have. Then it hit me. How can my daughter have what she doesn’t see? How can she know how to open up to me and trust me if she doesn’t see it with me and my mom? Everything we do, even the things we don’t notice, are being recorded by these little sponges. It was at that moment, I chose to change the dynamics of my relationship with my mom. Let me be clear. Did my mom change for me to change? No! Nope, she didn’t! But God changed me. God changed my views of her. God healed my hurting places, my wounds from her, and filled them with other sentiments like love, honor, an

He Is...

The other day my friend and I were talking and she was going through her own trials that seem to have her down. She said she couldn’t sleep and couldn’t stop crying. It seemed like everything was getting her at once and she could only take it one day at a time. Let me give you some history on my friend, a little back story. We met in a time where I was uncertain about where I was with God. I knew God, and prayed to God, but I had cut Jesus out of my life. Remember in one of my previous journals I mentioned how I believed the hype that worshipping Jesus was idol worshipping and it was a sin. Because after all, idol worshipping was breaking one of the commandments. Yeah, someone whom never cracked open the Bible at least knew the basics right? WRONG! Well anyway, she and I had gone on a dinner date to Baltimore and on the drive home, we began talking about Jesus and I asked who Jesus was to her. She said God. I said how I felt Jesus wasn’t God. He may be real, he may have existed, bu

Co-parenting Woes

So God you know how I’ve been feeling towards my daughter’s dad and his fathering. This week I realized that it’s okay if he stays away because You got us. I started to really feel like she would be okay without him because she has You. This plays into my insecurities with my dad that I do not want to impose on her. Since he found out about my minivan and the argument that followed where I told him it wasn’t any of his concern, he hasn’t been talking to me. It’s funny because I’m finally standing up for myself and I’m not the same Jas he could control when we were together. He is not only not speaking to me, but he isn’t talking to our daughter either. He doesn’t call her. I only call him when she asks for him and he doesn’t answer.  Now me being a mom where I didn’t want to be like other moms who keep their kids from their father, I’ve been friendly to him because I thought we could be cool and co-parent effectively. I’ve given him non-restricted access to her. It’s crazy because