The next Monday comes, he takes her to gymnastics. She was so excited to spend time with him. He has also taken her shoe shopping. The next day she says “Mommy, Daddy took me to gymnastics yesterday”, “Mommy, call Daddy!”. We called. No answer. I texted him that she called, so he would know it was her and not me. No return call. Repeat Wednesday. Repeat Thursday. Repeat Friday. I sent him a text message letting him know that basically we won’t be calling anymore.
I made a few other decisions that included leaving things alone unless he made the effort. I thought we could have a super friendly co-parenting relationship, but if we didn’t have it in our relationship, how are we going to have it now.
I got so in my emotions that I wished him out of her life for good. I know. That’s bad.
It just reminded me too much like my childhood and I don’t want that for her.
During my Bible time, God revealed to me in Psalm 27:10 When my mother and father forsake me, the Lord will take me up. This verse brought me so much peace because it was confirmation that you are our fathers and we will be fine. And because of my anger and not desiring him around, I felt like yep, he can go, she doesn’t need him, God is her father. If he can’t do things this (my way), he can’t “do” at all. She’ll be better off without his inconsistency.
Today, I can laugh because that’s not what God told me, that’s what my emotions told me. Today, I realized that regardless of his parenting, God will pick up the slack on his end because He will always make sure she is cared for. I don’t have to make the decisions to eject him from her life. Honestly, the decision isn’t mine, it’s Gods ultimately.
God said he would protect her in his presence and I do not have to worry. My efforts before God will protect her. Also praying for him and him as a father will protect her. I’m not only talking physical/natural protection, but spiritually and emotionally. She is covered.
I don’t have to fight with him about the type of father he should be or I think he should be. Honestly I need to give him space to figure things out on his own, pave his own way. I’ve made it easy for him for so long by doing everything including planning how he spends his time with her that he hasn’t had the time to learn. He has a bit of a learning curve ahead of him, but for our daughter’s sake, I need to pray for him.
How many of you take the time to pray for your children(s) father?
I know it aint easy. Even thinking about it just makes me like ugh. But here’s another example of denying ourselves and putting our pride aside. Our children need great fathers and we can help one praying mama at a time.
If you can’t look beyond the anger and hurt you have for him – her in a single dad’s case, pray your hurt and bitterness away first. Pray God gives you a forgiving heart. Forgive and then push through praying for them.
When my daughter came home from gymnastics this Monday, she was so happy. It made me happy to see the joy her dad brought her. And simply because of that, I pray she always has that happy so I will do my part in praying for him so he can continue to put that smile on her face.
I have a real short prayer for you…
Lord, I need your help. I have a few choice words for my daughter’s dad (insert your person here). I need your help in not only not using those words but also not thinking them. Lord, I need to operate out of a place of Jesus for them and I need you to equip me with that I need to forgive them, continually, and to pray for them continually and unconditionally, amen.