I spent years keeping my mom distant, never letting her get too close. I didn’t trust her. I couldn’t trust her. There was too much hurt and pain. I shut down on her years ago. I went through so much and I needed her. She wasn’t there the way I needed her. Fast forward to being pregnant with my daughter and I realized how much I wanted to have an awesome relationship with her. Compensating for what my mother and I didn’t have. Then it hit me. How can my daughter have what she doesn’t see? How can she know how to open up to me and trust me if she doesn’t see it with me and my mom? Everything we do, even the things we don’t notice, are being recorded by these little sponges. It was at that moment, I chose to change the dynamics of my relationship with my mom. Let me be clear. Did my mom change for me to change? No! Nope, she didn’t! But God changed me. God changed my views of her. God healed my hurting places, my wounds from her, and filled them with other sentiments like love, honor, an
The other day my friend and I were talking and she was going through her own trials that seem to have her down. She said she couldn’t sleep and couldn’t stop crying. It seemed like everything was getting her at once and she could only take it one day at a time. Let me give you some history on my friend, a little back story. We met in a time where I was uncertain about where I was with God. I knew God, and prayed to God, but I had cut Jesus out of my life. Remember in one of my previous journals I mentioned how I believed the hype that worshipping Jesus was idol worshipping and it was a sin. Because after all, idol worshipping was breaking one of the commandments. Yeah, someone whom never cracked open the Bible at least knew the basics right? WRONG! Well anyway, she and I had gone on a dinner date to Baltimore and on the drive home, we began talking about Jesus and I asked who Jesus was to her. She said God. I said how I felt Jesus wasn’t God. He may be real, he may have existed, bu