Against The Grain

God, as I was reading 1 st Samuel 19:17, it referenced 2 nd Samuel 2:22 but I accidentally turned to 2 nd Samuel 22:2. Here’s the thing. I prayed to you last night, asking if I could find a prayer in the bible that I could pray to help me through this battle, to avenge me of my enemies, to protect me. I wasn’t sure if there was such a prayer and that I would Google it in the morning. Normally, I almost always pick up my phone as soon as I wake, but instead I chose to pick up my bible. And here you were waiting for me. Just for me! Turning to 2 nd Samuel 22:2 was not a coincident, it was you answering my prayers. You gave me the perfect prayer and I have reworded it for myself.  In praising you in the midst of my circumstance, I praise you for being my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer. Yes, in you I will trust. You are my shield, the horn of my salvation, my hightower, my refuge. I will call on the Lord who is worthy to be praised. So shall I be saved from mine enemi...

Hey God, I had to get this pen to this paper because the devil will do anything in his power to stop me. Lord, let me start off by saying all the honor and glory belongs to you. Thank you for all the revelation you have given me these last two days. PLEASE BLESS MY TIME, MY HANDS, AND MY SPIRIT TO GET THESE THINGS OUT. The the first word is PLAN. In 1 st Samuel, you showed me in the rebuke of Saul and, in the selection of David, that you have a plan. It's already orchestrated before we even know anything about it. You told Saul that you were taking the kingdom from him and giving it to someone close to him. But when you said it, that person wasn’t close to him yet. You knew what was going to happen before it happened because you had a plan, or had already planned it out. Then, you sent Samuel to anoint David. You had given Saul an evil-spirit that only a harp and a harp-player could tame. David was sent to play the harp for Saul and he fell in love with David. So here...

Have you ever felt like you didn’t fit in? Like, not just one time, but almost everywhere, all the time? Have you ever felt like an outcast? Felt rejected? I have! Pretty much my entire life! Those that know me may say otherwise; that’s because I was great at compromising my true self to “fit in”.   I’m sure my people-pleasing persona partly contributed to that. Nonetheless, I have always felt like an outcast, inside and out. I always dressed just a little different. I wore my hair different. The complexion of my skin made me different. I was raised different. I didn’t fit in with this set or that set. I was too urban (ghetto) and I was too bougie at the same time. I always seemed to get the nickname – Grandma. My first office jobs, I worked with an office full of older people. I was the youngest one. I desired to be around people my age. Then I worked a job with plenty of people my age, where having just one boyfriend was lame. I was always different than the set of peopl...

Hey family, This was a craft the 3 of us created as a family. Clearly mama took hers seriously lol. I will share my thoughts behind everything but will not spend too much time on them because I would rather let you know how God moves things at the end of the year. Although these are my “expectations”, I want God’s will for me more than I want my own. As I did for explaining my 2017 goals, if the categories are related, they may be grouped together. Closer to God My #1 goal is to be closer to God, to grow deeper with him. Every day is a chance to encounter him. My very being needs him to survive and to thrive. I’ve lived a life “luke-warm” for 26 years and I want to spend eternity with him; all the way, in all of his ways. Some of y’all just want God for particular things, and you feel like you can handle the rest. Been there, done that!   No thanks for me. I know we have free will but I relinquish all of my control unto him. He can handle it all while I sit as his fe...

Before I share my 2018 "resolutions", it's important to share the previous year. January 2017, I created a vision board. My vision board had a few themes, to include marriage, losing my baby weight, repairing my relationship with my mom, and praying more as a family. Neither my vision board, nor my vision cultivated itself overnight. As magazines came in the mail, I cut stuff out that could apply to me, or that sat well with me. I had no clue which way things would go. The flow of the board is super important, it was created in the way I am going to share it. Relationship Goals I had a baby with my boyfriend, we   are living together, and operating as a cohesive unit, unmarried! Our relationship was rocky, more like a roller-coaster. Nonetheless, I was ready to get married. Hence, the engagement ring and “engaged” image. As time passed and I learned more about relationships and marriage, I learned about the importance of choosing one another, having stayi...