Out of the blue, my cousin asked me if I wanted to open a daycare with her. I thought to myself, wow God, yeah, I thought about a home daycare ran at my home but I never really considered going that big. And I’m like wow, that’s something to think about. But opening a business, especially a daycare is a lot of work.
Then, the next day, the mom of the family I resigned from, asked me if I wanted to open a daycare with her. We spent the entire day just brainstorming. It seemed like a very cool idea. But again, a daycare is a lot of work and requires a bunch of hours.
I cannot commit to those hours because that would take away from the hours I would have invested in MyMy. I sat back and thought “God, I’m not like them”. I’m not interested in the rat race, working, overworking to live and maintain a certain life. I’m not moved by money as I used to be like before I had my daughter. Now the only thing that I want is everything family.
It’s so crazy because I was just speaking to a guy at Whole Foods and I told him that I was a pourer. I told him my gift was pouring and nurturing. I’m not even sure where those words came from but I know that’s my calling. Shoot, just yesterday, you could have asked me my gift and I would have scratched my head. Lol.
I’ve always been an encourager and an uplifter, a giver, etc. I used to hate it because it set me up to be used by people. Now, I understand that it’s a part of my gift and necessary for where I am today and for where God is leading me.
Years ago when I started dating my daughter’s dad, on one of our early dates, I told him my greatest goal in life is to be a great wife and mother. This was about 6-7 years ago. I’ve always felt like there was something more important than going to college, getting a great job, climbing up the career chain, having a big house, driving a fancy car, etc.
About two years before becoming pregnant with my daughter, I asked her dad if I could be a stay-at-home girlfriend. Lol. After 10 years of working, I was tired. I use to be like why don’t I have a hustler drive like everybody else?! So I pushed myself to hustle and burned myself out.
Once I had my daughter, it was all crystal clear. I spent my days caring for her, reading to her, teaching her, bonding with her, practicing skills with her, feeding her new foods, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, cooking organic and nutritious breakfast, lunch, and dinner, just creating our home to be a place of peace.
I hear a lot of women saying how they can’t do that. They couldn’t be around their baby all day. Or be in the house that much doing house stuff. It’s so isolating. It gets lonely. You know what, that’s true. But I began to fall in love with it. Once I really accepted it, it made me happy. I knew this was it for me. My ministry is my home and my family.
See, I never really heard anyone say this or talk like this, I thought something was wrong with me but as my relationship grew with God, I begin to learn that my desires were natural. That’s how God made us women. Who said that staying home meant you weren’t good enough because you aren’t out here securing the bag.
SECURING THE BAG. Listen to that, listen to how masculine that sounds. You weren’t meant to be out here hustling and securing the bag – that’s a man’s responsibility. You aren’t meant to be I N D E P E N D E N T . We are designed to be their softer side, to be their undertaking, to be under their covering, their rib, their peace.
It’s too many women out here that have lost their femininity. It’s not your fault, that’s how the world is creating us. To be feminist – which is a tool of the devil to break families and tear mothers from their families anyway. YEP I SAID IT! These vegans out here crying about tearing a baby calf away from its mother so we can have Cow’s milk. But where is the outrage and the outcry of the ripping away of our babies from us when we return back to work?! AND I SAID THAT TOO! As young as 6 weeks and your baby is off to daycare. That baby just spent less time with you out of the womb than they did in. Think about that!
So back to the topic – I told this guy that I was a pourer. I think back to it like I stood there so confidently, knowing that it’s nothing wrong with women who would rather work in their home than in the real world.
When I got home, I was like let me Google this. I mean I’ve never heard someone use an “I am” statement like that. Lol. As I Googled it, I’m thinking God, I’m sure I won’t find anything, but I did. I found an article that literally laid out all of my thoughts and sentiments in one article. The article is called A Woman Was Designed to Pour…
Just from the title, I got an instant feeling of relief knowing that there are others out there like me and believe what I belief.
She mentions her husband saying how with women it’s either all or none and that he would rather have her pour all of herself into their family and home as opposed to elsewhere leaving nothing for her family and home and as a result it suffers.
They have a picture up of a woman pouring from a pitcher into cups symbolizing options which she can invest herself. Highlighted are the vessels she chooses to pour into:
- Reading the Bible
All the things I do now and will continue to do in the future. My God, it feels good to find someone that identifies with me.
The vessels dimmed for pouring are:
- Facebook (Social Media)
- Women’s ministry
- Phone Calls
No knock on anyone else but like I tell my best friend – If your husband works, you work, who takes care of home? Who raises your kids? After all, besides weekends, you really only see them an hour or so a day. If you are always tired, what do you have left to give your husband and kids?
Let me be honest, it’s not easy running a home but my heart is in it. It brings me joy. It’s my purpose for this season. It’s crazy because my ex called me lazy in an argument. I got up first in the morning and went to bed last in the evening whether I was cleaning up from dinner, folding laundry, reading my Bible, preparing his breakfast, breastfeeding through the night, teaching, playing with, and loving on our daughter, exercising to keep myself up, handling the house and his personal business affairs…THERE WAS NEVER A MOMENT TO BE LAZY.
Tired? YES!!!!!!! Everyday I’m tired. Since I was pregnant, I haven’t stopped being tired, but I try not to complain because the benefits of it are priceless. If I could encourage every woman to stay home, I would. You won’t believe that when I quit my job taking care of Esther, I was sitting in my car – alone – and heard “…women aren’t supposed to work”. I was like “Huh, Holy Spirit is that you?”.LOL. But now I can look back and say you’re right. I’m good at a lot of things but I’m even better at home-making. It’s my calling.
Truth be told, the family I just resigned from I encouraged the mom to come home to be with her son. I truly believe that’s why God placed me in their life for such a short time. If I hadn’t quit on them, she wouldn’t have taken it seriously. God does everything for a reason, no matter, how cuckoo crazy it sounds to us lol.
Hence as opportunities present themselves, I’m not moved because I know I cannot commit to that. The only thing I can commit to are God, instilling the love of God in my family and home, reading my Bible, and cultivating and serving my family. Even as far as jobs go, I’m working enough just to provide for my daughter and I, after that, all of my time and energy go to her and God (1st).
God has been providing just what we need too. I think our world is so jacked up now because there weren’t and aren’t enough mothers to be home to nurture and raise their children. I have plenty of time to get back in the workforce when my children are grown and if my husband is okay with it. YES, IF HE IS OKAY WITH IT.
Man…just this will lead to a whole different topic but I will say this, there’s power in letting a man lead. I swear submitting takes a lot of stress off of us as women, especially if you submit to a man worth submitting to – you know – the one that submits to God.
Although I wasn’t in the best situation, submitting was one of the best things I could have ever done regardless of him abusing his leadership authority. You are to submit to your husband as you submit to Christ Jesus….deny yourself and submit sis…I’m telling you.