I knew I was off yesterday. Everything bothered me and I just wanted to run away. I don’t want to go in to detail because I don’t even want to rehash the emotions. But God thank you for the gentle reminders today. I know why I got in this place…YOU. I’m here to be closer to you, to grow deeper with you, to strengthen my faith and belief in you, and to honor you in all that I do. I’m here to love you and be obedient to you.
Yesterday, I got caught up in my perception of what the world wanted of me. I felt like I wasn’t living up to my worth, my potential. I don’t do as much fun stuff with my daughter, I’m not teacher her right. People are teaching their 2 year old to read and use the potty and I’m over here chilling, but trying to do what others are doing. Where’s the race?
Why does she have to learn it now? She has plenty of time to learn. Why does it have to stress me out? No one said I had to be supermom, so why am I trying? What happened to the experience of just living. Just being mom, even if that means I’m too tired today and don’t have much in me but feeding you, cuddling you, tickling you, bathing you, kissing you, and praying.
Yesterday, I found myself frustrated because I couldn’t really write to you, read my Bible, or pray to you, God. I know some people say God only needs 10 minutes of your time but that doesn’t work for me. Lord, I don’t know how I made it without you all of those years because I can’t breathe without you. I need you for everything. Whenever I feel like I can’t have my time with you, I shut down. I need you all day, every day. Like forreal, all day!
Every chance I get, I’m trying to get a piece of you. I don’t like feeling far from you God. No!!! I want you and need you more than I need this life. I can’t live without you. All of me wants all of you. I truly don’t have room for or desire anything else.
The enemy knows my love for you and will insert distraction after distraction, confusion and other mind games to keep me from you.
I find myself so tired to make time for you, then I spend the latter part of the evening and night praying and talking to you, I find that I don’t sleep because I spend it feels like all night talking to you. Them I’m tired the next day with not much to offer my daughter.
Between last night and today, there were a few things I realized I was lacking in my prayers that I normally prayed. I use to pray for my day. I would command my day often and somehow I stopped. The days I prayed for energy, you gave me energy. The days I prayed for the strength to trust you, I trusted you whole heartedly. The days I prayed for provision, you provided. The days I prayed for your will, I was able to go with the flow. And even things I forgot to pray for, you still blessed me with in my day. So what happened?
I lost focus, I lost my why and started focusing on the natural. I’m laughing now because some of the videos I watched or memes on Instagram, you revealed that to me. Stop focusing on the natural!
Although I’m poor in the natural, I’m rich in the spirit. Wow! Thank you Holy Spirit for that revelation too. We get so caught up on what it looks like in the natural, when we should concern ourselves with the things of the spirit. The things of you. My mind was consumed by money, my bills, looking for extra income, how to be a better mom, how to be a better nanny, just everything natural.
We are to set our eyes on the things above and not of this world. This should be a daily reminder. My, how it is so easy to forget?!
Seriously, every day we have to make a choice about the things in our day and if we don’t choose the things of God, we are in trouble. Well, at least I am. Lol.
I was listening to a pastor in the car today on the radio, and although I didn’t get the entire message, God gave me what I needed. Several short points I’m not sure how accurate my transcription is but the message is still there.
- So many people are looking for the burning bush that spake to Moses, but we aren’t in those times anymore. We need to stop holding on to what used to be and move on. The fire doesn’t live in the bush anymore, it lives in you. God speaks to you in you. He lives in our hearts now.
- Be ye encouraged. Stop looking for encouragement in other people. If you find your encouragement in other people, you’ll feel good for a little but have to return to them every time you need encouragement. Encourage yourself! It’s not easy but it’s a must that you look within for encouragement so that you will not ever have to depend on anyone for it but yourself and God. Also, God didn’t choose a particular time for you to be encouraged, which means you have to encourage yourself in the good and the bad.
- Peter said silver and gold none I have. Peter wasn’t by any means poor but what he considered riches and what other’s considered riches were different. He was rich in the spirit. Silver and gold, or the lack thereof, didn’t affect his riches. Having God was having everything. He had the things that mattered to him, even if it didn’t to the people around him.
I’m good until God tells me otherwise. After the discouraging day I had yesterday, I needed a word on encouragement, and what better word than to simply encourage yourself.
And Lastly, I told God that my finances are in his hand, and all I want to do is take care of my family, make my home, pray, praise, read my Bible, worship, listen to my word, and spend as much time with Him as possible.
It’s not money for me. I just ask that we have what we need. And I have to remind myself that those are my riches and majority of people may not understand it. You want people to look at you and wonder how you have what you have when you don’t have what they have (money). People should be able to look at you and see God.
That was something I forgot to mention when the pastor was talking about Moses and the burning bush. They may wonder how you have peace, joy, love, provisions, and favor, when you don’t even have this type of job, this type of house, this type of wardrobe, this type of car, this type of money, etc. I have what I have because the Lord gave it to me, Amen!
I often pray that when people see me, they don’t see me but see God. Shoot, that’s my current prayer for my husband. I pray he is attracted to and falls in love with the God in me instead of the superficial me. I like to call this my “God glow”.
Actually, in all honesty, when I have on my God glow, I get so much attention from people, especially guys, it’s something that you can’t help to be drawn to. I get my God glow after time with God. It’s just like the glow Moses would get after spending time with God in the mount.
Anyway God, thank you for my daily bread to get me through today. I thank you in advance for my daily bread for tomorrow. One day at a time, one step at a time with God.
I LOVE YOU GOD