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Hey family,

I would like to welcome you all to Against The Grain, my spiritual journal. I am not a "blogger" per se and this will be my first true attempt at blogging. I would like for you to know that I am not here to become someone. I am not blogging for the likes or popularity. I am beginning this blog because God has given  me so much that has saved my life and I want to give it to others in hopes that it could save theirs.

Often times, after quiet time with him, I am so wowed by him that I am ready to go and tell everybody. In this space, I will share all that God places on me. I will be opening up about my dreams, my revelations, my encounters with him, my love-letters (my actual journal), etc. As a heads up - I want to keep my writing as raw as possible with little edits but will make adjustments so that articles can be read a bit easier.

This will not be a place of ear tickling. Most of what I have to say is going to go against most of what you have been taught or believe, against what the world is telling you. Hence, against the grain! I am here to grow and encourage growth. Time is running out. Jesus is returning. Where will you be? Where will your heart be? I do not want you to miss out on salvation and eternity in God's kingdom. Heaven is real. Hell is real. Which do you choose?

Let's get right before it is too late.

I love you!


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I Absolutely Love You God

First of all God I absolutely love spending time with you. Like for me there’s no place I’d rather be. I’m okay with no one understanding me on that  for better words I don’t have any desire to hang out with friends. I know they say I need a break, and I do, but my break is solitude and Bible and prayer time. That’s my social time and if you have never felt that way, well, welp oh well, that’s how I feel and I really don’t want to hear anyone’s opinion about it. God I love you and all of your ways and I love spending my time with you. Like I need you. I need to choose you. Not like I need you because you could end my life at any moment but I need you as in my heart desires you. A lot of times I want to shut down from the world because I want my time with you. That’s why it will be important for my husband to understand that. Maybe on Friday night, he could sit beside me while I’m journaling and journal too or listen to a sermon or read the Bible. My God, My God. I’ll be married and

Co-parenting Prayer

I enrolled my daughter in a second gymnastics class so that her dad could participate. The class is on Mondays. Well, the Sunday prior he did not come to see her until 8pm. I wasn’t feeling that at all. So the Monday after, he found out that I got my minivan and was upset. Why would I get a new car because I can’t afford it…I’m already questioning where my money is going now…I’m like excuse me wait hold on a second, my car is not your concern and your money goes to taking care of our daughter. I mentioned how the little money he gives me is not enough to truly cover our daughter and how I put out more for her and I have my own bills. He said that had nothing to do with him and I said neither does my car. I hate confrontation especially with him. But I’m done with being bullied. He came inside to pick up our daughter and wanted to continue his argument. Asked me who I thought I was talking to…in my home lol. Because I refused to continue the dramatics, he was especially upset. As a r

The Next Step

God, I learned a few things today. They’re all jumbled up inside so I ask that you please help me get them out. Wow, where do I begin? I watched the video with Pastor D where a few things stuck out. One of the things was being in God’s order and marriage. I begin to feel like “where do I go from here?”. I’ve left my old life and got myself in order, but what’s next? I want to grow deeper with you but was unsure of what comes after this. Not that I’m trying to rush you but I felt more like I was becoming complacent and letting you down. Like I was missing something or wasn’t doing something for you. Also, I’ve been desiring marriage but I don’t want to focus on it in fear that I’d be idolizing it. But this video sermon talked about order and marital relationships. And I realize that next step in order for me is marriage. But God I have a lot to deal with in regards to marriage in which the video also revealed. His message was able to reveal to me that I have some wounds that need