Have you ever felt like you didn’t fit in? Like, not just
one time, but almost everywhere, all the time? Have you ever felt like an
outcast? Felt rejected? I have! Pretty much my entire life! Those that know me
may say otherwise; that’s because I was great at compromising my true self to “fit
in”. I’m sure my people-pleasing persona
partly contributed to that.
Nonetheless, I have always felt like an outcast, inside and
out. I always dressed just a little different. I wore my hair different. The
complexion of my skin made me different. I was raised different. I didn’t fit
in with this set or that set. I was too urban (ghetto) and I was too bougie at
the same time. I always seemed to get the nickname – Grandma. My first office
jobs, I worked with an office full of older people. I was the youngest one. I desired
to be around people my age. Then I worked a job with plenty of people my age,
where having just one boyfriend was lame. I was always different than the set
of people I was around that time. It was like the timing was always off. But we
know that wasn’t true. God’s timing is PERFECT!
And all of his ways are PERFECT!
It was not until a year ago, when I began this journey with
God that I understood that I was meant to be an outcast. In a good way though.
I was meant to stand out. All those years of being a misfit was God positioning
me for this! This walk with him! God has completely set me apart. Without all
the years of having to adapt to being comfortable with being uncomfortable, I
wouldn’t have been ready. The difference
this time is that, I finally fit! Jesus was the missing puzzle to my piece.
Follow me on this, a completed puzzle that’s missing a piece
is still beautiful, but a piece by itself looks weird. When the missing piece
has been added to the puzzle, it’s now covered on all sides, filled in to
completion; it is whole. That’s what Jesus does for us. He takes us the way we
are, compasses us on all sides, and transforms us. When you look at us now, you
no longer see just the piece, but instead you see the beauty and completion of
Jesus Christ. Yeah, that’s what Jesus did for me.
At this very moment of writing this, I am facing a
life-changing encounter. I feel like the walls are closing in on me. I no
longer fit this way of life anymore. I am being rejected and ejected. The battle
is real, y’all. Nevertheless, check this
out – God is giving me everything I need to not only make it through, but also to
come out victorious. His word is giving me so much life and strength. Even
still, I can’t help but to ask, “Oh Lord, what do I do? This is a big deal. It’s
not just me anymore, I have a daughter now!” And God used the 1st
book of Samuel to reveal to me that David was also an outcast and had been
rejected many times. Here are a few
instances:
- When Saul was given an evil spirit by the Lord, David was selected to play the harp for him. Saul fell in love with David and wanted him to become one of his armourbearers. As they went out to war, David, a very valiant man, killed more people than Saul and Saul became envious. Envious enough to kill David every chance he had. Someone that once loved David so dearly now despised him.
- The Philistines were come out to battle against the people of Keilah, where David was temporarily abiding while running from Saul. David delivered them and blessed them with the spoil of their enemies. When Saul found out that David was in Keilah, he headed there to kill him. David inquired of God whether the people of Keilah would offer him up or not, and God replied that they would. Here you have a people, who would have been destroyed by the Philistines if it were not for David, and yet, these same people were not going to protect him.
- After Saul’s last attempt to kill David, the bible says that he felt forced to go and worship other gods. He was pushed out of his home and had to dwell with their enemies, the Philistines, in Gath. In Gath, David was upright and faithful. He would even go and fight for them. When the time came for the Philistines to fight against Israel again, David wanted to go out with them but the princes of the Philistines disproved of him; and King Achish sent him away. Clearly there is a conflict of interest but David couldn’t understand what he had done wrong. After all, he was faithful to them.
I can only imagine how he may have felt. If he spoke like
us, he would probably say “Dang, God, it’s always something. I need a break!” David
was just living his life. He had no clue what God was doing, but God did. See, at
a young age, David was chosen to be king. He did not have any anointing prior
to that. He did not have any special gifts before God anointed him. And
although several people mentioned it to him, I’m not sure if David really knew
what his anointing meant.
Yet, God had already chosen his destiny. All that David went
through was preparation for his destination. Everything you’ve been through, everything
you are going through, and everything you will face in the future is by the
Most High God’s beautiful design to refine you, mold you, and shape you in
preparation for where he is taking you.
Something else we can learn from David is that in spite of
what he was up against, he never stopped trusting God. Actually, we can infer
that each time he was afflicted, his trust in God’s hand grew. Please
understand that those feelings of rejections, those trials, are meant to
strengthen our faith in God. Each time we overcome a battle by our faith, we
are a step closer to where God has destined us to be.
God knows our destiny before we do. He knows your destiny
when your heart is broken. He knows your destiny when your friends, family, and
spouse have betrayed you. He knows your destiny when you cannot find a job. He
knows your destiny when you are struggling with your bills. When you do not
know how you are going to make it. Whatever your situation, God knows your
destiny! We just need to trust him!
Trust him like David did when he was in the wilderness up
against a lion and a bear, and God delivered them in his hand. Trust him like
David did when he was up against Goliath and he knew that his pouch of stones
would defeat him. Trust God like David did when he told him that he would
deliver the Philistines in his hand. We have to trust God like our life depends
on it, because it does.
So don’t worry about being an outcast, or different, or
rejected, just know and trust that it’s all good because it’s all God. Is there
anyone that can identify? If so, please share in the comment section.
May peace be upon you!
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