Before I share my 2018 "resolutions", it's important to share the previous year. January 2017, I created a vision board. My vision board had a few themes, to include marriage, losing my baby weight, repairing my relationship with my mom, and praying more as a family. Neither my vision board, nor my vision cultivated itself overnight. As magazines came in the mail, I cut stuff out that could apply to me, or that sat well with me. I had no clue which way things would go. The flow of the board is super important, it was created in the way I am going to share it.
I had a baby with my boyfriend, we are living together, and operating as a cohesive unit, unmarried! Our relationship was rocky, more like a roller-coaster. Nonetheless, I was ready to get married. Hence, the engagement ring and “engaged” image. As time passed and I learned more about relationships and marriage, I learned about the importance of choosing one another, having staying power, and praying together. The fact that I was actually able to find these pieces in magazines at random was certainly God.
Friend & Family Goals
At this time, I did not know what was going on but I lost some very close friends. My life had changed. I did not realize that starting a family came with its own particular set of growing pains. I felt like I needed to rebuild my village. A new support group. A new set of friends. People that identified with my new way of life. As a nursing mom, I got so many unwarranted opinions about my breastfeeding and it drove me nuts. Breastfeeding is beautiful. So when I found the image “the beauty of a mother’s milk”, I had to have it. This new village I was building had to appreciate the beauty of nursing also.
The image of Tracey Morgan and his daughter having a tea party represented the relationship that I wanted my daughter and her dad to have. My boyfriend did not grow up with family stability, so naturally, I had concerns about his parenting abilities. I did not grow up with my father and, even as an adult, it has impacted me. I just wanted my daughter to have the best experience, with both parents actively involved. Just so you know, my boyfriend is a great dad; our daughter cannot get enough of him.. It's such a joy to see! I will continue to pray over him and for their relationship.
Becoming a mother, I realized how important it was to heal, amend, and nurture my relationship with my mother. I don’t have her forever, and despite the past, my heart yearned for our future relationship. I needed to heal. My healing was not based on her, it relies on me. I cannot change her or the past. (A whole different post in itself – coming soon 😀) But what I can do is forgive her, accept her, and love her. My relationship with my daughter is riding on it. If I want the best relationship with my daughter, I have to provide an example for her. Just thinking about this brings tears to my eyes; I’ve grown so much in my viewpoints and Godly wisdom on this topic. Praise be to God that I still have a chance with my mom because there are a lot of people that do not.
Who am I?
Research and life studies show that people change at least every 5-7 years. I was changing. I spent my whole life trying to fit in other’s expectations of me. The people around me created me. I was such a people pleaser. I was ready to live for me. The “Show up. Be You” image was perfect for depicting that.
Additionally, I always wanted to lock my hair. I’ve had that desire since a little girl. With a baby, housework, and a live-in boyfriend to care for, who had the time for hair?! I most certainly didn’t. This lady had thee most beautiful locks to me. Funny thing is that my locks look nothing like hers but they are equally beautiful.
Lastly, let’s not forget the nagging pressure to “snap back”. Well, my progress was quite slow, but I’m grateful. It taught me to slow down, appreciate that God blessed me to carry life, and this body that has not snapped back yet did it! So instead, I focused on eating well and taking care of myself. The weight would fall of eventually. Hence the “Eat great, lose weight” picture. Guess what? Most of it has.
Okay, this is where my vision board takes a turn for the best it’s ever been in my life. My relationship with Christ was revived. The last few years, I’ve been lost. In short, someone very close to me told me that they didn’t think Jesus was who you were to worship and that it was idol-worshipping. I thought “Wow, really?”, and there went my relationship. I fell for the okie-doke. I was caught up in satan’s trick of knowledge.
I was on a never ending journey to find the truth. Now, we all know there is no truth without Jesus – he is the truth, the way, and the life. Even in all the darkness I was into, Jesus got through to me. I was listening to a sermon that seemed like it was based on the crap I had been into researching but in its length, it was solely about Jesus. That sermon changed my life and from that day, I’ve been journeying with God. The month of January 2018 is my one year anniversary.
Not only did my life change, but so did the direction of my vision board. I listened to another sermon talking about how complaining is the opposite of praising God. Well then, how do I praise God? I actually looked for this. I read spiritual blogs and articles, and from somewhere, it clicked that praise is simply showing God some gratitude.
Every morning, I would just start thanking God for everything little thing, and it completely changed my attitude toward my day. I had so much more appreciation for God when I thought about all the things that were that did not have to be. I saw a baby born without eyes, and my daughter is 100% healthy. Some people do not have homes, and here I am with a kitchen to cook in, running water to bathe in, air conditioning, heat, etc. There may be someone very close to you struggling in these areas – do not take the little things for granted. God forbid the fact that at any moment, I could stop breathing, have a car accident, a house fire, anything. That’s enough for me to be grateful and give God that praise he deserves.
To go a little deeper, I’m not just grateful on occasion. Thanksgiving is every day for me. Each morning I rise, all the honor goes to God. I live by the saying “the present is a gift”. Again, I did not have to wake up, I didn’t have to make it through the night, and neither did you. If the present, every minute, even every second, is a gift, we need to act like it. Do not take it for granted.
Speaking of gifts, picture this – you give someone a gift just because you love them and thought of them but they did not thank you, show they liked it, or even cared. What do you do? You’d say “Hmph, that’s the last gift they get from me!” Well, what if God said that? Meditate on that for a second because it’s too powerful for you to miss it. What if God said that’s the last time I save his life! That’s the last time I pay her bills! That’s the last time I keep their car running! That’s the last time I protect their children! That’s the last time I bring your spouse home! That’s the last time I allow your heart to beat! If God said that it was his last time doing for you, would you show him more gratitude?
Now that me and God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are back on proper terms, I’ve learned a lot from Him. I’ve learned about order. He is most certainly a God of order and I’m ready to live for him and his will in his order.
First Comes Marriage, Then Comes…
More kids! When I was pregnant, an auntie of mine told me I was doing things out of order. Y’all, I did not even have any conviction. Sad, I know! But now, I appreciate her words more and more each day. Someone needed to say it. We need more of the older generations to guide us in Godliness and impart His wisdom upon us instead of trying to be young.
Jesus Loves Me
Funny story - I sing this to my daughter every night in our bedtime routine. When we were in the grocery store she was just singing her heart out. And I let her! I could have quieted her but somebody needed to hear it. It seems like everyone is turning away from Jesus, like I did, and so I want to get back to making it cool to love Jesus Christ. No matter where I am, I try to add a little bit of Jesus.
He Saved My Life
It brings tears of joy and sorrow when I think about what if Jesus had returned while I was out here sinning. Man, I was going STRAIGHT TO HELL! But He saved my life and is cleaning me up. Cues – Hezekiah Walker “Won’t He make you clean inside!” Because of that, I made the bold choice to live for God. It was so perfect to find that picture, especially with the “ALL IN. OR NOT AT ALL” part because I am all in. There ain’t no turning back. This is it for me.
Make It Happen
Life – it’s what you make it. I mean you can have whatever life you want. All you have to do is make it happen. Easy enough, right?! For me, I’ve always made it happen as far as the materialism, what the world thinks is living. I’m done with that. Now it’s time to make this change with God happen. I’m creating the life I want by choosing Him.
This sums up my vision board for 2017. I hope you enjoyed some of the thoughts behind it. Stay tuned for my 2018 goal poster. It’s much smaller but wayyyyy bigger. It’s rooted in living for God. That’s my biggest goal for now and for the rest of my days.
Are your goals in alignment with God? Is he included in the vision of your life? I look forward to your comments.
Peace be with you!
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